Confessions of a Ukrainian Refugee
My family and I were evacuated from our hometown of Bucha early in the morning on 24 February, to the sounds of explosions at the military airdrome next door. I will never forget the words that I uttered when I woke up my family at 5am: “The war has started.” Since then, we have become refugees. How does one make sense of the horrible realities of the war? Where does one see the intangible presence and goodness of God, in the middle of violence, trauma, and loss?
Even though initially I found it hard to pray and read Scripture, I could resonate with the Psalms. Not only do they provide us with a whole range of emotions, but also a solid theological foundation. One of the Psalms that I often go back to is Psalm 103. David’s story and prayer echo my thoughts and struggles in the middle of this war.
The opening verses of the Psalm are familiar to us: “Praise the Lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits.” The beginning and the end of the Psalm are somewhat unusual. It’s an exhortation to worship that David addresses to himself. I also had to intentionally tell my soul to remember the reasons why I still can praise God. These verses helped me not to lose faith as I accompanied my neighbours and friends going through extreme human suffering and unimaginable losses.
As a Ukrainian, I find hope and comfort in verse 6: “The Lord works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed.” What gives me strength to praise God nowadays is knowing that divine goodness is closely connected to divine justice. Goodness abhors evil. So, punishing evil is intrinsic to what it means for God to be good and just. God’s divine wrath, as he serves divine justice, is one of the ways in which God manifests his goodness to us.
I think of God’s goodness and pray for God’s justice when I remember thousands of civilians in Ukraine killed and injured, and countless others living through daily bombardment and violence. I think of God’s goodness and pray for God’s justice when I see homes, schools, care institutions, and entire cities being destroyed. I think of God’s goodness and pray for God’s justice when my heart goes out to millions of internally displaced persons, the majority of whom are women and children, who have lost everything they had – their homes, belongings, livelihoods, support networks, and in many cases, their loved ones. “The Lord works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed.”
This war has impacted me. It probably has changed me forever. However, this war has not and will not define me. I am defined by the goodness of God that has always been there, even in the middle of pain and suffering. Yes, there are days when I struggle to see it and trust it. But then I remember that God has been faithful and good all my life. He has been with my family and me in our darkest nights and has led us to safety. His mercy and justice will never fail us.
In this Psalm, David highlights the importance of community in his faith journey. You have become that community of faith to my family and me in this difficult time. Reaching out with messages of support and assurance of prayers, you have helped me see the compassion and goodness of God in my life. Thank you, friends!
One of my go-to worship songs these days is by Bethel Music. Click the link to the YouTube video and join me in singing of the goodness of God.